Cult Part 9
Home Section Index Cult Part 1 Cult Part 2 Cult Part 3 Cult Part 4 Cult Part 5 Cult Part 6 Cult Part 7 Cult Part 8 Cult Part 9 Cult Festivals



The Och Cult





I very quickly adapted to life as a Cult member and soon found myself partaking of all the activities and happy events that the Cult offered.

Prayers on Sundays
Ritual Chanting on Mondays
Sandal Sharpening on Tuesdays
Handing our sins to the Pastor on Wednesdays
Lentil Treading on Thursdays
Selling the Cult Cry on Fridays
Soup Kitchens
Recruiting on Saturdays.




Occasionally, we'd have a dance as we chanted. Oh yes, we knew how to enjoy ourselves. I thought life couldn't get any better, but then it did. 

After I'd been a member for a year and day, I became eligible to join in the Cult Festival and Ritual Sacrifice.



  Invitations to the Festival were given to those who'd scored most points in the recruitment and Cult Cry selling competitions. The ultimate prize, to those who'd rescued most lost souls, was to be invited to be the sacrifice. This was announced at the Cult Service on the last day of February 2000.
'The ritual sacrificee this year,' boomed the Pastor, 'Will be Brother Colin McCorker.' A thousand sighs and a cheer rent the air. Suddenly, the cheer was replaced by a scream, and it was with horror that we realised that the surprise and delight had been too much for our 93 year old Brother. His heart had given out.





Coming soon The Next Instalment


Click here to see the Och Cult Dance


''We've got a dead one, dead one,' Basil squawked, and I cringed with embarrassment thinking how inappropriate his comment was. 

'We have a problem, friends,' said the Pastor, taking control of a difficult situation. 'And we will award the honour to our runner up, Brother Edward Blades.'

Well, I nearly fainted, and all of my compassion for the dead Brother McCorker was replaced by a thrill of excitement as the message sunk in.

I was to be this year's vernal equinox sacrificial virgin!


Click here for pictures of me getting ready for the Sacrifice

Click here for pictures of me at the Festival.