people don't take kindly to opening their front doors to two people
dressed in habits. After they overcome the initial shock, sometimes our
opening lines cause people offence.
The Pastor has taught us to say (in unison,
whilst pointing at the householder):
Sinner, alkie, whore ye are
Ye need help, ye've gone too far
Sinning is awful, ye be pure bad
Thy filthy ways will make ye sad.
Fornicating feels good at first
Drinking never cures your thirst
Smoking one and then another
Ye need help from our Pastor brother.
Filthy beast, ye'll rot in hell
Pastor Jack can make you well
Look at ye, what a state
Give up thy sins, we all await.
There are several more verses, but
we don't always get the chance to recite them all. This is often when we
slide our sharpened sandals into the doorway to stop the door from
Saving sinners is hard work, and can
be a dangerous job. But we must do it. We must. Pastor Jack has said so.