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People often ask me how to spot Cult members.
Pastor Jack's Cult members are ordinary members of the community, and you
have nothing to fear from working or living with a member. So ordinary are
they, that Cult Members have no distinguishing features beyond sandals and
robes which are worn on Cult days and high days.
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| However, other Cults do
exist, and the following features are described of typical Cultish
behaviour. We in the Cult of Life frown on other Cults of course, and
despise some of the activities they get up to.
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| If you are worried that
your neighbour, relative or friend is Cultic, look out for the following
behaviour:
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- Answer every question with a question
- Answer questions with quotations from the
bible
- Spend every minute of his/her free time
knocking on doors and saying, 'Please don't bang the door in my face.'
- Talk about their favourite saints all the time
- Go around smiling constantly, looking smug and
acting in a supercilious manner.
- Wear a suit, shirt, tie and very polished
shoes, even on their days off
- Have car stickers of rainbows
- Hate everybody who's not a fellow cultee
- Listen to and sing along with Cliff Richard
- Paint marks on their faces, wear bright robes,
and walk along the High Street accosting strangers with a clipboard
- Eat their babies
- Have sex only with the lights off (or
alternatively only in large groups)
- Dance in strange ways to the
moon/stars/sun/wind/rain etc
- Call their children Sky/Moonchild/Tree/Crop
Circle/Rabbit/Amber/Crystal and similar names or
- Call their children after Pastors, saints and
biblical characters
- Have huge, huge families
- Adopt traditional gender roles
- Have Sky installed so they can watch the god
channels
- Sacrifice virgins/goats or maidens during full
moons
- Similar strange behaviours.
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