Brookside
The Alternative Scripts

Episode 19

(Prog opens with Rab C. Finnegan driving into the filling station. He parks the car, and nips into the shop to purchase a Milky Way and to knock a Mars bar. He, foolish soul, leaves the car key in the ignition, along with £60,000 on the front seat. Linds, passing on her way to a local meeting of Ganster's R Us, sees her opportunity and nips into the car and drives away like a blue bottomed flying insect.)

Rab C. Finnegan - You are dead by the way so you are

Linds - screech

(Scene ends as Linds takes the corner on two wheels)

(Next Scene Leo and Jerome Jerome sitting in Mick's house)

Leo - I want to move back to me dad's. I do wanna sleep on the floor at your ma's anymore

Jerome Jerome - but yer dad goes on a bit - at least me ma leaves us in piece. And you don't have a computer here - I need to work n my book

Leo - a book? You?

Jerome Jerome - Yer me. It's called Three Men in a Bungalow

Jerome Jerome - Look out here comes yer ald feller

(Mick enters through the door)

Mick - Leo yer back

Leo - I'm back daddy

Jerome Jerome - Mick

Mick - Jerome Jerome

Leo - Dad I'm back

(Next scene, Millennium Club Jacqui and Susannah are sitting talking about Linz)

Jacqui - I want fifty percent she owes me that fifty or nothing

Susannah - Yes, you've been saying that every scene for the last five weeks

Jacqui - yer well the scripwriters are running outta ideas and dey know the punters are fed up with the rape case and we've been put in to bring in some class

Susannah - Well, that's stretching it a bit

(Linz appears through a skylight, and slips down a rope hanging conveniently from the ceiling. She lands on the table at which Susannah and Jacqui were sitting., He high heel gets caught inside Jacqui's blancmange.)

Linz - I am here

Jacqui - yer we can see I won't settle for less than 50%

Linz - Done

Susannah - you have been.

(Next Scene Mick's House Jerome K Jerome and Leo are in the lounge. Jerome K has one ear presed to a mobie, another pressed to the land line)

Jerome K: (to mobile) Yer I can do yer a ten gramme for 40

Jerome (to landline) I'll meet you at the bus station

Mick (enters front door) What's going on here?

[This episode was never completed or posted on Brookie newsgroups]