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Saturdays
Recruiting Day |
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Saturdays, we go out 'bell pushing' as we jokingly call it in the Cult. We
wander the housing estates, with a psychic cultee. The psychic cultee
senses where the sinners are, and we ring the door bells of these houses,
and attempt to save the souls of the dirty vile sinners inside. |
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Some
times a psychic cultee is not available, and we use a sin detecting
divining rod instead. We point the rod at the houses we pass, and when it
twitches, we can be sure that there is a sinner inside. When I go divining
for sinners, my rod twitches a lot. There are so many sinners out there. |
| Bell
pushing can be a dangerous activity, but Pastor Jack has thought of this,
and he provides us with special sandals,
which allow us to defend ourselves in threatening situations. These same
sandals also help us to help people to keep their door open. A quick
casual slip of a foot into the doorway gives us that extra few minutes to
save souls/ |
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The
Pastor runs a league, where each cultee gains points according to the
number of sinners recruited. It's a complicated scoring system, but
essentially points are gained according to the number of sinners
recruited, and the seriousness of their sins.
It's all fun and games in the Cult. The next time
you here the doorbell, it could be one of us. Why not join us today? |
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