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Brookside
Episode 10 Goldfish - the Video Special (Sinbad has ordered Musgroves out. Programme opens wth Ma Musgrove placing the goldfish and his bowl on the pavement, ready for the bin men to collect. She cries and looks pitiful as usual.) Ma Mus - Goodbe wee Silver. You've been a lovely wee pet. Silver - (mouthing the words, as we all know that goldfish cannot speak) - Bye...... mummy. (He breaks down in tears but as he is submerged in water no-one notices.) (A bin cart and crew drive up. Camera pans on Jimmy and Linz who are subtly staring out of the net curtains which they have raised high above their heads, with their noses pressed hard on the glass.) Jimmy - dem bin men look familiar Linz - yer, those two are Dave the Garrotte and Freddie the Snooker cue, well known gangsters and nasty men. Jimmy - what are they doing here? Linz - well, I'm not having them on my manor. (Scene ends with Linz and Jimmy looking at each other. Jackie is in the kitchen muttering away about drugs as usual.) (Next scene the bin men) Dave - I'm doing Natwest's down Scotland Road tonight. Freddie - I'm having a quiet night in with me gangster's moll tonight. I'll nip out for a takeaway, turnover a filling station till, get a video and a bottle of wine. Dave - Look! A goldfish! Freddie - Not half, Dave. What shall we do? Dave - I'll take it home to me kids. (Linz appears) Linz - Well, well well, if it isn't Dave the Garotte and Fred the Snooker Cue, on my patch. I am Linz Corkhill. Goldfish - Help, help, I'm surrounded by villians. (Dave drops the bowl, and Sinbad, passing, sees this action. He runs over, arms out-stretched. He sucks up Silver, and stores him in his wee fat mouth) Linz - Get outta here, and don't come back. Sinbad - I'm bow in do gir a dole bor the bish. Freddie - don't shoot us, here's £100,000. Silver - It's mine, it's mine Dave - And here's £300,000 from me. Silver - that's mine too. (Silver breaks out of the Sinbad mouth, and flies over to Dave and Freddie. He slaps his fish body against their faces, and then flies to Linz. He pokes her in the eye, and then dives towards the £400,000. He lifts it up, holding it in his little fish mouth. Dave, Freddie and Linz are all knocked out cold, and will wake up in due course with amnesia.) Sinbad - tee hee Silver - Run fat man Sinbad - you got it wee man. (Silver and Sinbad run into Mansion Musgrove, and divvy up the money.) Silver - Okay fatso, I'll buy this house. Here's 65 grand. Sinbad - done. Silver - Okay you Musgroves get out of here. (Scene ends with the Musgroves leaving the house, in order of height, each carrying a suitcase. The whole effect is like a family of ducks where ma and pa lead and the babies follow. Silver is flying at the door, and says 'I'm the head haddock around here now'. He suddenly seems very menacing.We are more frightened now than we've been since Barry Grant and Sssizzler had a set to, or since Linz appeared in her underwear in the Friday the 13th video.
Music and Closing Credits. As the credits roll a voice over is heard:
Announcer - If you've ever been the victim of fish violence, call the helpline number shown on the screen now.
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